My Uncle David

Today’s post is very difficult for me to write, yet I think it is very pertinent to the topic of the week (Breast Cancer Awareness, if you haven’t been paying attention!)

When I was still in middle school, my mother married my step father. Not too terribly long after, his brother, Uncle David, came to live with us because he was “having problems.”

Uncle David was a depressive who liked to stop taking his medication when he was feeling better, which would cause him to slip back into terrible pits of depression that lasted for months. While in these pits, he would sit at the table, muttering to himself, chain smoking.

He wasn’t always a depressive. When he was feeling good, he would play his guitars and sing old rock n’ roll songs. In fact, as teenagers, he and my stepdad formed a band that was mildly popular in Nowheresville, WA in their day. Uncle David loved gardening; he would completely landscape the yard only to rip it up and to do something else. He was always watching either John Wayne or the Three Stooges, chuckling to himself. He was also fond of picking up our shitzu and carrying her for walks around the neighborhood, since she didn’t like to walk herself. (It seems the bratty gene is prevalent in my family’s dogs…)

His depression began when his son died in a tragic accidental suicide at the age of 13. Understandably, that is something which one never truly recovers. But as time went on, he tried, day by day. After a while, he had more good days than bad ones, more music and less muttering.

My favorite memory with Uncle David was when a traveling opera group came to our town, playing Carmen. My music teacher hooked me up with tickets. I was so excited; I love opera but had never seen one live! The four of us got dressed up, went out to dinner and then headed to the local high school for the show. The whole time my Uncle David kept nudging me, sticking his nose comically in the air, saying “Marella, we’ve made it now, we’re off to the OP-era!” It made me giggle all night.

Eventually, Uncle David was doing fantastically-he had held the same job for over a year, bought a little red Ford Ranger and a small house. But he had never stopped chain smoking. My step dad tried to talk him out of cigarettes, but Uncle David joked that he could never quit his “cancer sticks.” As you can figure, he contracted lung cancer. A bad, but short, bout with pneumonia, and he was gone.

Uncle David was part Native American, on his mother’s side, and held a lot of belief in what he called “the Great Spirit of the Land.” He told me he believed that when a person dies they join their ancestors and become one with nature. It was not until years later, upon talking to my mother, that I realized Uncle David did not fight his cancer. He not only let it happen, he actively invited it with his years of chain smoking. When I asked her why, she replied that he had never been truly happy since his son had died, and that he wanted to be with him again.

I know he did not die of breast cancer, but I want to take today to remind everyone that all cancers are they same. And when they claim someone you love, the pain is the same for all those left behind. Even more, though, I want to highlight an important fact: not all cancers are physical-some are of the soul. Just like malignant cells, cancer of the soul can eat away at a person for years until it is no longer strong enough to fight it.

What helped me deal with Uncle David’s death was the same thing that helped him through the darkest parts of his life: his faith. His faith was practically palpable; he did not believe, he knew. He was so sure, it made me sure. The less believing of his family placed a tombstone for him in the ‘family cemetery,’ but I have never been to visit it-that’s not what he wanted. He said, “you can place a stone if you like, but that’s not where I’ll be.” I like to believe that his spirit soars over the Pacific Northwest; whenever a Chinook wind blows up the gorge, in my heart, that’s my Uncle David.


In honor of my Uncle David and his strong faith, I present this breast cancer awareness pin with the word “faith.” Faith in whatever you believe, you simply must have it! I also present for featuration the Fairie Awareness pin, simply because he would have liked it!

I thank you for allowing me to tell the cancer story that touched my life most, and forgiving that it is a bit off this week’s topic. It simply felt right to honor my Uncle David during this week. Thank you again. Now go hug your family members!

My Little Helper

It has come to my attention that many women my age, and in my life position, are mothers. Most of my friends, and several family members, have little versions of themselves toddling around, getting everything sticky, and being generally adorable.

Well, I’m not to that point yet (Mom!). But just because I don’t have a pint sized pipsqueak of my own, does not mean I’m completely void of the mothering stuff. You see, I am a proud Puppy Mommy!

Four years ago last July, my mother called me to visit, saying she had an early birthday present. I should have been skeptical seeings how my birthday is in October-and I’m relatively sure she knows that-but I have always had an affinity for presents. So I drove home and was instantly ushered into the back yard where a tiny little brown thing was hopping around.

“What is that? You have giant bouncing rats!” I exclaimed.

“Happy Birthday!” My mother said.

I still don’t know why she decided I needed a dog, but that was our beginning. That night, I made a little doggy bed with pillows and blankets galore, turned off the light, got in bed and felt a tiny little wet nose nudging me. ‘Oh no you don’t!’ I thought, putting her back in her own bed. Not two seconds after I was back in bed, there she was snuggled close. And I was hooked. Whether I needed or wanted a dog before that day, I certainly had one then! (And not one night has gone by without her in the bed-D really had to get used to that!)

It took a week to name her. I am a full believer that dogs will let you know what their names are-and she seemed to like the GRR sound. We went through Lady Gertrude, Ginger, and just Grr itself until I hit Gracie. Her little ears perked up and seemed to say, “hey! That’s my name! I’m Gracie!!”

We’ve been together ever since. She’s helped me get through college and grad school. She’s helped mend broken hearts and gotten me through the loss of loved ones. She’s dances in the kitchen with me while I make dinner. She watches movies with me. She’s moved across the country with me. And she helps with MarellaDesigns.

When I pull out my crafting supplies, she hops up in the recliner-a girl’s gotta be comfortable, ya know!-and watches me create. I often ask her opinion, and she’s always supportive, if a bit snobbish. I can’t tell you how many pictures of wreaths I have with her hogging into the picture (little diva!). Her favorite, though, is when I blog or work on my online store because she can snuggle in my lap with the laptop over her, keeping her warm. She wanted a post to introduce herself-she felt she deserved some credit for all of her hard work!

She never fails to make me smile, and keep pushing on day after day. So much unlimited love in a 10lbs bundle! Plus, she’s a killer! Honest, if you lay down, she will lick you to death!! Life could be worse

cough She asks you go check out all of her hard work in the store. I told her it was improper to blatantly ask like that, but she said you wouldn’t mind!  http://marelladesigns.storenvy.com/

Tell me about your pets! I adore pet stories!!

Inspiration: Nature

I love nature.

I’d love it more if it was screened in with a roof, wall-to-wall carpeting and central heat and air.

Okay, I love to LOOK at nature.

 But that’s all I really need to inspire my designs.

I enjoy the different textures contrasting against each other-the crystal smooth water on the rough sandy beach, the silky leaves against the scratchy tree bark. I appreciate the differences in dimensions-the tiny, delicate baby bird at the base of the sturdy, sky scraping cedars. I am always in awe of its presence. No matter where you are in the world, there is nature-forested mountains, wide open plains and trees that grow in Brooklyn. And I delight from the sheer number lists one can form describing nature!

But what I absolutely love about nature is how it never subscribes to rules. As humans, we set up boundaries and standards, trying to gain control over all that is around us. Yet nature will not be curtailed. How many times has a zebra worn white after Labor Day? And has a seed ever submitted permit forms before taking root? Sure, we try. We weed our gardens, deforest lands, pollute the air, and I’ve even heard of people dying their poodles! But we will never succeed. Nature was here first, and will remain long after we’re gone due to its resilience and giant F-U attitude.

Ok, I hear you-how does this tie in to crafting? The cliche answer is to notice the wonderful dichotomies surrounding us and embrace them in our work. Which is great, and I highly recommend it. But my point of the day is to adopt nature’s F-U attitude, create what you love and have no cares to the contrary! Love black and brown? Who cares if the fashionistas call faux pas? Think dandelions will make kick ass bracelets? Go for it!

Unlike nature, our time on this planet is limited. So we need to love what we craft, and craft what we love, while we still have the time.

Discussion:
What dichotomies do you love? What do you love to craft/do? How does nature inspire you, in any way?